Do you have a strong need to control and take charge of situations?
Do you have a strong desire to make others behave as you want them to?
As a manager, are you demanding and push people out of their comfort zone to achieve results?
Are you outspoken and forceful in your relationship with your subordinates?
Are you practical, realistic, non-sentimental in your communication style?
Do you tend to connect with your subordinates through competition and conflict rather than through soft emotions?
People who answer yes to most of these questions may have a controller saboteur (Shirzad Chamine, Positive Intelligence, 2012). These people generally have a strong need to exercise control over themselves, others and any situation. They have no problem in decision making, which tends to be focused on process and information. They are very task-oriented, like to take the initiative and value efficiency to get things done fast and on time. They are great at controlling projects and can be counted on to see projects through without missing any detail. Their communication style is direct, factual and to the point. They like to project themselves as victorious, strong-willed, confident, capable and efficient. Because of this, they are often recognised for their leadership and authority.
However, when feeling negative emotions, the controller saboteur overuses and abuses the strength that these people have, i.e. their willingness to take ownership, and turns it into a weakness.
These individuals tend to consider vulnerability as a weakness and often do not pay attention to their own emotions and to what others feel or think; they may therefore be weak on empathy, compassion and forgiveness, and may therefore struggle to build rapport.
They like to make decisions for others and are often incapable of taking ‘no’ for an answer, stubbornly insisting that they are right. If others disagree with them, they may have to face verbal aggressiveness as the individual with a controller saboteur thinks that they are questioning their authority, and their violent reaction may be designed to lower the other person’s confidence. When asked questions they do not have answers to, they may get irritated: they want to be the ones with the questions so they can control a conversation as opposed to having to give answers.
In their private life, they may be jealous of their partner and may go through their messages and contacts as they try to control them. Jealousy may manifest itself in their inability to accept their partner or friend’s success stories as they strive to be the centre of attention.
The controller saboteur is one of the most common for executives in senior leadership positions. People with a controller saboteur are very dominant and will respect others who also come across as dominant and confident. They often push their subordinates to achieve results with impatience and may come across as overly critical of their subordinates’ work to see how much they believe in their ideas. Their confrontational style can have a devastating impact on the confidence of others, who will not develop trust in themselves, will not feel encouraged to take any initiative, make mistakes and learn from them. Bosses with a controller saboteur will not help their subordinates grow, and these subordinates will refrain from stepping in, feeling controlled and resentful. The boss will gain short-term control but lose long-term influence.
What’s the biggest impact of the controller saboteur on your business or career?
Who is the archetype of someone with the controller saboteur?
Luca Dondi is a certified professional coach, helping people enhance and realise their unexpressed potential, by leveraging business experience and accredited training. Get in touch for a free coaching session.