Do you see ‘almost perfect’ as a failure rather than a job very well done?
Do you tend to set excessively high standards for yourself and others?
Are you overly critical of yourself when failure does occur?
Do you take constructive criticism personally in case of a less-than-perfect performance?
Do you tend to excessively brood over past mistakes?
Does fear of failure make you put things off until the last minute?
If your answers to most of these questions is yes, you may have what Shirzad Chamine refers to as a stickler saboteur in his Positive Intelligence book (2012). People with a stickler saboteur generally have great organisational skills, do their best to meet or exceed expectations, they are meticulous and methodical at their jobs, they set high standards for themselves. It is natural to strive for your best in the things that matter the most: if you are a surgeon, perfectionism is a desirable trait; if you ought to follow a strict diet, a perfectionist will excel at self-management and self-restraint, achieving their objectives faster than the average person. At work, they tend to have high levels of motivation, conscientiousness, and engagement.
However, saboteurs overuse and abuse a great strength that these people have, i.e. a need for order and organisation, and turn it into a weakness.
They tend to be very self-critical and never satisfied with their performance, causing high levels of stress, pressure, anxiety, and burnout. They have unrealistic expectations, and they constantly worry that their work will not reach the excessively high standards that they have set. Their stickler saboteur often defines their identity, they wear it with pride as a badge of honour, the word ‘perfect’ has positive connotations for them.
By trying to make everything perfect and feeling anxious when things fall out of perfection, they tend to achieve less and stress more than other people who focus on the few things which need to be perfect and do not waste energy on things for which good enough would do. And even when things temporarily get into perfect order, the stickler saboteur generates anxiety because that perfect order may not last. They tend to beat themselves up and wallow in negativity when their high expectations are not met. Because they become so disappointed with anything less than perfection, they may procrastinate on key decisions, worried about doing something imperfectly. Their self-criticism may lead them to low self-esteem, insecurity in their abilities and pessimism.
At work, people leaders with a stickler saboteur get frustrated and irritated with others for not being perfect enough, this tends to be very discouraging to their subordinates, because even if they get 99% of something right, their boss will still only focus on the 1% which was perfectible and will beat them up over it. Their subordinates will feel exhausted as their hard work will never satisfy their boss.
People with a stickler saboteur tend to be overly sensitive to criticism because a less-than-perfect performance will be painful to them. They may have trouble completing projects because they think there is always something more that they can do to improve it, leading them to work longer hours. They may be tempted to execute tasks themselves rather than delegate or asking for help, adding to their burden. As parents, they may have unrealistic expectations on their children, causing them to have low self-esteem.
How strong is the stickler in you?
How is your stickler saboteur holding you back in your business or career?
Luca Dondi is a certified professional coach, helping people enhance and realise their unexpressed potential, by leveraging business experience and accredited training. Get in touch for a free coaching session.